Can we pretend that it's 2010 and that blogs are new and not big and fancy and competitive? Can I use this space to unload, make typos and create a safe space to share my life? I don't know if it's a good idea, but it's an idea, and I'm going for it.
The only thing I really know for sure, is that I am energized by creating. I need to make things in order to be my best self. It's always battle against the clock, a race against time to do it all, but when it comes down to it, if I don't make time to create, my entire human purpose sinks. I don't do my job as well (I'm a librarian at a public library), my energy level is low, and the more days that pass by without the jolt of making, the further my mood drops and all of the sudden I wonder what happened? Where is Laura?
Almost every time, I realize I haven't stitched, journaled eor picked up a paint brush in days. I need to get messy and involved in a project to shut out the anxiety and stop my wondering mind from racing with thoughts like do my friends even like me anymore?, will I get to see my dad again?, and what the fuck is going on with the world? To keep my anxiety at bay and my energy level up, I need that time to just be.
Can you relate? I know a lot of people meditate, exercise or do yoga. I'm not there right now. I'm deep in a season of self reflection and creation. I have new ideas all the time and have no idea how to follow through with most of them. This blog is an idea I had yesterday. It's a slow time and I'm grateful for it, but I’m also crawling out of my own skin.
That's all for now,